Auf Wiedersehen, Au Revoir, Farewell.

In my previous post about running an anonymous blog I missed out one vital point. Know when it's time to stop. That time has come for me. I've had a lot of fun writing this blog but It's been hard work too and the time for me to sign off has arrived. Writing this blog has been a fantastic rollercoaster of a ride for me. In just six months I've gone from nothing to having anything up to 230 hits a day without ever publicising the blog. It's almost unbelievable.

Since the start of the year I've had a lot of emails of one sort or another. Some offered information or ideas for blog entries. Some offered salacious gossip such as the married man who has had two affairs with work colleagues while his wife was pregnant. Or the woman who sells her used knickers online to people who like to buy that sort of thing. Both of those emails came with some significant measure of proof. I also had emails asking me for my real name. I'm sure most of you were just curious but please understand my reasons for withholding that information. I'm convinced one of those emails came indirectly from site management. Nice try.

The rest of the emails were mostly just general comments and thanks for writing the blog. Well my thanks goes out to the people who read the blog. It made the effort worthwhile and for that you have my heartfelt gratitude. There was even a handful of criticism. That was welcome too.

I may be back if and when I feel it's appropriate. For now I'll leave you with a couple of thoughts. The first is for the phone agents and the other rank and file employees of Sitel Exeter. Sometimes you make it too easy for management to give you a hard time. If you call in sick after going out drinking or do other stupid stuff like aux hopping they know when you're taking the piss. Really they do. When enough people from a group take the piss that reflects badly on the whole group. I could have written a whole separate blog about the stupid shit agents do. :-) 

My other thought is for the management who I have no doubt seeth with moral outrage when reading my articles. If the people reading the blog made it worthwhile then it's the site management who made it possible. Most of what I've written has been aimed at holding a mirror up to the absurdities and inconsistencies I see around me at work. Take a moment to get past your desire to see me fired or worse. Then try and see things from the point of view of the troops on the ground quietly trying to get on with their jobs. Can you honestly, hand on heart, tell me that the majority of what I've posted isn't true. If you lead by example then you'll have more respect from your employees. Punish the managers who hold double standards. Rein in the ones for whom the power has gone to their heads and make sure you are doing your job properly when you try to tell me I'm not. Lots of people can see it. I'm just the person who decided to write it all down.

I'm off to pursue other projects. Whether you loved it or hated I thank you all again for reading my blog and wish you all well in everything you do.

The anonymous bloggers handbook

I'm sure there are a few of you out there who have considered writing a blog like mine. My advice would be don't do it. I love writing blogs and so thought this would be a breeze but actually writing with the Sword of Damocles hanging over you is not so much fun. You have to be paranoid in every aspect of your writing and preparation. If you're still reading and still thinking about creating your own blog here's what I recommend.

First of all assume you will be sacked if you get found out because if your writing is controversial you will. The history of the internet is littered with people who have lost their jobs for what they said about their companies in blogs or on facebook or twitter etc. If you start from that premise then you're working in the right direction.

The next step is to create new accounts for everything i.e. A new email account and a new blog account. Don’t host any pictures, if you use them, on your own flickr account etc. When you set these accounts up give fictitious names and other personal details and create new passwords for everything. In theory there is no way for Sitel to persuade your email or blog provider to give up your information but don’t risk it.

Don’t tell anyone you're the blogger. Even if these people have nothing to do with your company or you think you can trust them with your life I implore you not to tell anyone. Not your best friend, not your partner/wife/husband, not even your priest in the confessional. If you really must tell someone chances are blogging anonymously is not for you.

Don’t put anything that can lead to you in the text of your blogs. By all means put in subtle misinformation. For example where I said in a previous entry I had recently been given a late form that was a lie. I haven't had a late form in ages and it was a bluff. Or maybe me saying I haven’t had a late form in ages is a double bluff and I'm on my final written warning for lateness. or perhaps me saying it's a double bluff is a triple bluff and the original bit about the late form is true. Or maybe... You get the idea.

Proof read everything properly. When you finish proof reading go back and check again for anything that might lead to you. I've refrained from writing a couple of entries that I think you would like because I couldn't be sure if anyone else knew the details of the story and thus I would be found out that way. Take a moment to consider your sources of information. If someone has told you something and you publish it you may be getting them in to trouble.

This is not the complete extent of what I've done to keep safe as I do need to keep a couple of the details to myself. There are multiple layers of security and paranoia between me and the pages of this blog. Read some internet forums for more tips. As the adage of the 7 P's tells us. Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. In this case piss poor performance means you looking for a new job.

Finally let me wish you well in your blog if you do decide to write one.

Data protection or.....

Data protection is a subject that maybe we all ought to take a little more seriously than we sometimes do. This was highlighted last week when a lot of emails went around regarding a popular online children's game (remember no names on this blog) that is handled by one of our sister sites. It seems that someone managed to add just about every email user in Sitel worldwide to their internal distribution list. In the grand scheme of things it's not the worst data protection breach ever. For most of us it was just an amusing start to our day. Something to talk about by the coffee machine. No harm done.

Data protection is nonetheless a serious business. Which is why I find it hard to bite my tongue when someone tries to use it as an excuse for something completely unrelated. This has happened to me a couple of times. For example I once had an operations manager tell me to put my bag under my desk rather than on it "Because the data protection act says you have to".

No it doesn't.

Data protection law says that nobody has the right to see any potentially sensitive information about you without your say so and that companies must take steps to ensure that only those who need it to do their work have access to your data. It doesn’t mention the placement of employees bags at all as far as I can tell. Anecdotal evidence suggests I'm not the only person to have minor company policy presented to me as legal requirement. Why would this bother me? Simply because it's wrong. By using it as a bullshit excuse to make company policy seem more important you're actually making data protection law seem less important. When you work with members of the public for any length of time you tend to get a highly developed bullshit detector and that incident just made this person look stupid.

If something is a legal requirement that's fine. We know companies have laws to follow just the same as we all have laws to follow outside of work. Likewise if it's company policy just say so. We're used to petty rules and we really don’t mind. It's just part of life. As for the person who altered the email distribution list last week. I bet you feel a right plonker now.

To pull a sickie press #1...

I had the misfortune, a couple of weeks ago, to come down with a cold that's been doing the rounds. I could barely speak because of my sore throat. Reaching for the phone I called the absence line to hear things had changed since I last called in sick. "For this team press #1 and for that team press #2" the recording told me. Really? Are you going to put me on hold for five minutes as well just so you can say "Your call is important to us so please continue to hold"? I dutifully pressed the appropriate number and spoke to a random team manager from my floor. After making sure I sounded as ill as I felt I turned my phone off and went back to sleep.

It got me thinking later as I sat on the sofa surrounded by Lemsip and tissues. Watching daytime TV and wondering where Jeremy Kyle dredges his show participants up from leaves you time to ponder other things. Do Sitel really think this will make any difference to their levels of absence? First of all let's ignore the people who always go in to work unless they are properly ill. This is clearly aimed at the people who wake up and see, like this weekend, that the weather is far too nice and decide to replace speaking to people on the phones all day with a spot of sailing or something. Although I'm sure this measure, which has been in place for ages according to a colleague, wont hurt. I really don't see it doing any good either. After all if someone is swinging the lead then surely this isn't going to make any difference to the 'Sunbathing vs Office' equation. It strikes me as changing process and procedure to prove the site is 'doing something' about sick levels. There is sometimes a desperate need for improvements to be visible so that someone somewhere can point to it in a meeting and say "look what we did." The effectiveness of the idea doesn't always hold much sway.

If you have an idea, humorous or sensible, that you think would help improve the levels of absence on the site then drop me a line at sitelblogger@hushmail.com and I'll put any good ones up here in the next week or two. As always I'm as keen to protect your identity as you are. So rest assured you can contact me in absolute confidence with this or any other ideas you might have for this blog.